flatulina (flatulina) wrote,

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Ah... vacation

Oh darling ones,
What can I say? After a long and grueling tour, it is so wonderful to have some down time with dear friends. I've decided to visit Phaic Tan to get some R&R, and will soon go to my little chalet in Molvania too. It always warms my heart to hear the Molvanian national anthem as I arrive. There is truly no other musical piece like it. Quite extraordinary.

The "Feel the Heat: Part 2" tour went extremely well, but it always gives me a pang to think about how I cannot perform in the U.S. or any nation that is more developed. I'm just not welcome where they have clean air standards. I don't understand, it's okay for me to LIVE there, but to do a concert is forbidden. The next time Ralph Nader tries to act like we're buddies, I'm going to show him what it's like to be snubbed. For real!

But I don't want to waste my time on such unfabulous things as unforgiveness and grudge holding. That is not the style of a diva. Instead I will focus on things that give me joy and peace.

Speaking of which, I have been so honored and overwhelmed at the masses of entries I have already received in my "Who is Flatulina's #1 Fan?" contest! I don't know HOW we'll ever get through them all. My poor assistant Babs, she is working herself to death. She was so worn out from watching the thousands of video submissions, she barely had the energy to bring me my tempeh sandwich and apricot nectar while I was resting in my hammock. I felt guilty when she did the daily reflexology treatment on my feet, but I do pay her well, so it all works out in the end.

And I know many of you have been writing and asking about my relationship with the famous actor, George Spelvin, but you know my desire to keep my personal life somewhat private... and yet, it is so like me to want to keep something inside but end up just letting it all out all the time. Alas, that is what makes me Flatulina.

Thank you to all of you who are still sending me photos with the Flatulina merchandise and for all of your letters. You are what make the world go around.

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